UPLIFT: April 1
Professional Conundrum
“The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflict but on how we respond to them” – Thomas Crum
Conflict is an essential part of our professional lives. How we manage conflicting views, thoughts and situations can have a significant influence on not just our career trajectory but also our peace of mind.
Over the years, here are 6 of learnings about effectively managing conflict.
1. Delaying the conflict acknowledgement and resolution only makes it bigger and uglier.
In the moment, many of us feel reluctant to face or confront a potentially unpleasant situation. But unfortunately, the more we try to sweep these situations under the carpet, the uglier and bigger they tend to become. Facing these situations head-on can help control the damage.
2. Conflict Resolution is about saving & strengthening the relationship, and not about who is right or wrong.
In most situations, conflict resolution should focus on strengthening and saving the relationship rather than getting caught on who is right and wrong. The only thing that focusing on the right and the wrong does is boost your ego.
3. The 90/10 Rule
10% of conflict are due to difference of opinion and 90% due to the wrong tone of voice. Focus on your tone, if you want to solve for things. A tough message communicated in an amicable tone is more effective and well received than a favorable message communicated with an unpleasant tone.
4. Listen with Curiosity
When faced with divergent views, we need to start from a position of curiosity rather than ego (I know it all and I am right). Ask yourself what is it that they know and you don’t that’s making them view things differently. By focusing on the reason for differences, we have a greater chance of finding a solution and appreciating the other side’s perspective.
5. Leverage the ecosystem
Sometimes there is a misplaced belief that we come across as weak and incapable if ask others for help, especially in dealing with a conflict. Armed with this belief, we try and do everything ourselves rather than leveraging the wider ecosystem. It’s important to realize that we are evaluated on our effectiveness in getting the job done, and part of effectiveness is leveraging others in the ecosystem rather than do everything ourselves. For instance, if the colleague you are having a conflicting viewpoint with may be better managed or engage in an open conversation if the discussion is channelized through another common friend/ colleague/ boss etc.
6. Escalate timely, as not doing so can impacts performance significantly AND when things came to a boil the relationships get burnt too!
Often, I see people across levels being reluctant to escalate the situation, even if it impacts their performance and the organization, for the fear of spoiling our relationship with the other individual. Sometimes, timely escalation is essential to ensure you remain effective in your role, and as long as the escalation is on the situation rather than the person, it can help save the relationship as well.
PERSPECTIVE
“Understanding your risk appetite is important not just for your financial decisions, but equally for your life and career decisions.
There is no ideal risk appetite.
Not only does it vary by individual, it also varies for the same person based on their life stage.
Anything that costs you peace of mind, is too risky, and often not worth it!”
POINT TO PONDER
Is there any conflicting situation in your professional sphere that you have been avoiding? What could you do to acknowledge and address it?
