UPLIFT: April 14, 2022
Professional Conundrum
Question: What style of engagement is best to manage different work situations, especially those where we have differing viewpoints.
Each of us have a default way of approaching situations, especially at the workplace. For some of us this means trying to stick to our preferred viewpoint in most conversations, for some others it is about avoiding difficult conversations or even being overly accommodative. For some others it could well be about trying to find the most optimal solution to each discussion, and then there are some of us who prefer to compromise and move forward swiftly.
Often we end up reacting more than responding at the workplace. We default our reaction to whatever comes naturally to us. At times, our natural styles works very well, but often we end up in situations where our natural style become a limiter than an enabler.
Contrary to conventional wisdom, one approach isn’t better than the other. In other words, it isn’t that collaboration is better than avoiding situations, or conflicting is worse off than accommodating. We often need to use each of these styles in our arsenal, and then make conscious choices on when to use which style based on the situation/ decisions to be made.
That’s where THOMAS-KILMANN’S FIVE MODES FOR HANDLING CONFLICTS standouts. It helps us understand the various response options we can have to a situation, and how we can consciously choose these based on the situation at hand. Here is what it talks about, and how it could leveraged.
1. COMPETING:
Position of Power
This is about sticking to your guns on your perspective, and not being that open to the other side’s perspective on the situation. It’s about trying to win, and seek a favorable outcome for yourself.
Situations when it works well: Standing up for your belief or value system, protecting your interest, exercising power and authority, things that are non-negotiable for you
2. ACCOMMODATING:
Position of understanding and generosity
This stance is about, accepting and cooperating, and is the opposite of competing. Here the individual neglects his own interest, and accommodates the other side’s perspective.
Situations where it works well: When one person is a decision maker in a group and we need to follow his/ her orders (after debate), where there is a power difference between the parties, where you aren’t vested in the outcomes and comfortable to deviate from your preferred result
3. AVOIDING
Position of disengagement; low on energy requirements
Here the person is neither cooperative nor assertive. The person doesn’t want to engage in the discussion or situation at all. It can often be a diplomatic move to avoid or delay the issue.
Situations where it works well: Where you want the parties (e.g. your team members) in conflict/ discussion to solve the issue themselves rather than involving you, where the issue is too sensitive for you to get involved and you rather sit on the fence, where you feel the issue needs to addressed at a different point of time
4. COLLABORATING
Position of high engagement; high on energy requirements
Collaborating is about being assertive and cooperative. It involves trying to work with the other side to generate possible options and come up with the most optional solution, preferably a win-win. It involves deep diving into issues, often by trying to understand the ‘why’ behind stance of the different parties to the discussion.
Situations where it works well: High involvement issue that impacts you and the other side deeply, the problem is significant enough for you to invest the time and energy
5. COMPROMISING
Position of mid-way alignment; faster but often suboptimal decisions
This is about finding a mid-way point between the perspectives of the two parties, rather than working on the most optimal solution. The difference between this vs. collaboration is that here we don’t often deep dive into the key issues at hand.
Situations where it works well: When we need quick solutions to avoid an impasse, when you need a solution but don’t have the bandwidth to invest in a detailed option generation exercise.
PERSPECTIVE
“Sometimes we aren’t happy with the results we are achieve.
“The time spent on any activity doesn’t always equate to corresponding progress on the activity, and therefore acknowledgment from the world for it.
The world values what we produce not how much time we took to deliver it.
It maybe time to reassess how we spend our day or months by what we create than how much time we spend on something”
Source: https://harappa.education/harappa-diaries/thomas-kilmann-model-for-dealing-with-conflicts/
Point to Ponder
What’s your default style of approaching difficult situations. Which style of conflict or situation management (from THOMAS-KILMANN’S FIVE MODES FOR HANDLING CONFLICTS) would you aspire to actively strengthen in your arsenal?
