Disagreeing Is a Skill
How to disagree is a skill that's underrated.
In personal and professional life, there are many instances where we have a different vantage point (of looking at things) than others around us.
Sometimes it’s about batting for our opportunities or ideas, on other occasions it’s about supporting other causes or teams or even your project plan/ analysis. Success is a combination of 3 things
1. Influencing the conversation,
2. Gaining stakeholder’s respect, and
3. Having peace of mind
So often, we are geared solely towards #1 that the influencing and assertive behavior often transcends to defensive or even borderline aggressive in tone and body language (especially if the conversation isn’t going as planned).
Here is the kicker – when we get defensive or our tone changes, it’s noticed by almost everyone on the call/ meeting/ interaction except the individual. The meeting (or conversation) typically goes downhill from there, creating either a spiral of reactions or worse still some stakeholders going into their shell. Even if we are able to influence the outcome in our favor in that one meeting, there is a compounding damage to our reputation, credibility with stakeholders, and our peace of mind.
Most of us have been guilty of this, at one time or the other. And then, there are the serial offenders, who are consistently great at winning a point or influencing a conversation, but lose their credibility. It’s like winning the battle but losing the war!!
Next time you are in a conversation, and things aren’t going as planned or you are being asked some difficult questions or given feedback, don’t get defensive. See it as a golden opportunity to shine through with how you handle the conversation – as objectively as possible, consciously curating your body language and tone in the conversation. If you can achieve this consistently, you will see much greater credibility & respect from stakeholders, greater peace of mind, and often people may be willing to concede the borderline points in your favor!!
How to disagree is a skill that's underrated.
In personal and professional life, there are many instances where we have a different vantage point (of looking at things) than others around us.
Sometimes it’s about batting for our opportunities or ideas, on other occasions it’s about supporting other causes or teams or even your project plan/ analysis. Success is a combination of 3 things
1. Influencing the conversation,
2. Gaining stakeholder’s respect, and
3. Having peace of mind
So often, we are geared solely towards #1 that the influencing and assertive behavior often transcends to defensive or even borderline aggressive in tone and body language (especially if the conversation isn’t going as planned).
Here is the kicker – when we get defensive or our tone changes, it’s noticed by almost everyone on the call/ meeting/ interaction except the individual. The meeting (or conversation) typically goes downhill from there, creating either a spiral of reactions or worse still some stakeholders going into their shell. Even if we are able to influence the outcome in our favor in that one meeting, there is a compounding damage to our reputation, credibility with stakeholders, and our peace of mind.
Most of us have been guilty of this, at one time or the other. And then, there are the serial offenders, who are consistently great at winning a point or influencing a conversation, but lose their credibility. It’s like winning the battle but losing the war!!
Next time you are in a conversation, and things aren’t going as planned or you are being asked some difficult questions or given feedback, don’t get defensive. See it as a golden opportunity to shine through with how you handle the conversation – as objectively as possible, consciously curating your body language and tone in the conversation. If you can achieve this consistently, you will see much greater credibility & respect from stakeholders, greater peace of mind, and often people may be willing to concede the borderline points in your favor!!
